She says...

Went out for a gathering last nite with a few of my secondary mates...
Not all turned up...
Including me only 4...
But it was still enjoyable...
Sang KTV...
Though no one was really in form...
Off key, outa tune...
It doesnt really matter...
It is the time we spent together that counts...
Life moves on for everyone I guess...
Meets up are getting lesser...
And even in smaller group...
Some how those days when we all get together seems to be in the past...
But the joy is still there...
But somehow it does seems that it lack something...
Something I cant pin point wat is it...
We have moved on...
Some are working in fields that never crossed their minds...
Others are getting married to settle down and entering another phrase of life...
While the rest are going overseas for their degree...
We all parted like the tree branchs...
Hopfully we are still held together with wat we had started in the beinging...
But yes...
Some branches fell off as the tree grew bigger...
Those branches started their own life...
Broken away from the rest...
Juz read one of my friend's blog...
Another Uni friend is leaving us...
Pulling out from sch...
To further her studies in Japan...
Another friend is leaving...
I am not sad...
Juz a feeling inside that I cant find the rite word to describe...
The feeling that everyone has to move on...
Everyone has their own calling...
Made me wonder...
Wats the calling in my life...
Have I actualli answered it...?
I stop to reflect on my life...
In this mist of working in the office...
"Is this the life I longed to have?"
Where were the dreams I had as a child...
Or rather...
Wat was my childhood ambition...
Suddenly...
All that I am doing right now dun make any sense...
When did I changed....
Wat happened to me...
Wat do I really want...
Right at this point...
I feel like running away from my current job...
Run away in search of wat I realli want in life...
Start drawing, take up photography...
Swim, dive, run and cycle...
Dance my life away...
Or even join singapore idol...
But then...
I realised that I am tied down...
Unable to do that right now...
Tied down by this thing call 'reality'...
Bolted down the question of money...
Many would say that money don't mean everything...
Yes I agree and disagree...
Money cant buy happiness, it cant buy everything in life...
But then...
Without money...
It doesnt mean happiness...
Do you feel happi when its xmas when you can get anything nice for your love ones...
One may say that is shallow...
But then again...
Wat if one day...
Your love one is sick...
But you have no money...
No money to even bring them to see the doctor...
To give them the treatment they deserve...
No money to give your kids the education they nid...
The better food they nid to grow and stay healthy...
In such...
Without money but living juz on plain love...
Would anyone be happyand be contented...
Money....
Somehow it found a way into my life....
It has somehow grow itself in my mind...
Everything I do...
Do I have euff...
Money...
I feel like a salve to it...
I want to break free one day...
For now...
I juz have to handle reality...