Some ppl juz dun get it...
This sentence...
Has so muc meaning...
To the extend that...
It could be applied on myself...
There are so many things in life...
All of us...
Juz dun get it at times...
For me...
There are so many thing I dun get it...
Life is one of them...
Saw this thriller of this art central new programme...
It kinda of circle ard the topic...
"Are we what we are due to fate, seal since the day we are born?"
It makes me wonder...
Why something in life are juz what they are...
Why some of us are juz plain rich...
As if tones of endless supply of money...
Cars, condo, cash, cards....
While some...
Dun even know what will happen the next min...
If there is food on the table...
Some wake up each morning...
Wondering if there is euff to feed the children...
If they have euff for the children's education...
Or even...
Worry if they would be alive the next min...
For me...
I am lucky...
Even up till now...
I thk I am still...
Though times have change...
Past taugh me things that I wish I din learn...
But...
I guess it is like an excahnge for what I have now...
And what I could possibly have in the future...
I was once better off financially...
Kinda of spend w/o thinking much...
But of coz not to the extend that it is endless supply...
But slightly better....
Dun nid to worry abt money much...
Then now...
Things change...
Though I hate my life now...
Envy those bloodly rich kids which spend like burning paper...
But sumtimes...
I juz tell myself...
At least I learn to appreciate the idea of saving...
And being thrifty...
Now even a eating out...
I will do my math...
See if have euff to go ard the mth...
I wun say i am totali money wise...
I have my slips too...
Like when I crave for a can of coke...
Or a bag of chips...
Worse....
A bag...
Hahaha....
Juz that....
Sumtimes....
I wish I could be proud of my past and what I am going thru now...
And thank God for everything He is giving me...
Preparing me for the future to come...
But sumtimes...
I juz cant help feeling that life is juz unfair...
Things that are so valuable to one...
It could be treated like dirt by another...
Life...
Juz isnt fair....
And whenever I feel that...
I feel that actualli I could do more...
I could give my mum a better life...
Evertime i eat out...
I always feel gulity...
Coz I could have always bring my mum out and have what I was having then...
I have seen so much more in aspect of fun, enterainment and food...
Which I think my mum deserve every nit of what I am having now...
My worst fear now...
Is to have anything happen to my mum...
A slip, a fall or a fever...
I wun know wat to do...
I love her so much...
And i regrat all that I have done in the past that hurt her so badly...
I am learning to treasure her....
But I am scare that it will be too late...
I want to give her a life she deserve...
Not what she is having now...
I want to give her the world...
I want to....
And i hope I am working towards that....
Mum...I love you....