She says...


Gulit overwhelm me...
I killed a young bird today...
I reali dun meant for it to happen...
I walking my usual path back home...
After a rain...
As I was going up the stairs...
I saw this black bird...
Veri small...
Like a baby bird...
Hopping on the steps...
I din take much notice...
I carried on my path...
Onli to bump into a cat which is on its way down...
I stopped...
Sensed sumthing was wrong...
I walked back...
The bird was there...
But watched by an evil pair of eyes from the cat...
For the instance...
I knew I have to do sumthing...
But I din dare..
There was passers-by...
I was self conscience....
"What would ppl think if I was saw picking up things from the streets?"
"Would I be called crazy...?"
I realli duno...
I knew I paused and stonned...
Mayb a bit too long...
Then I took out a plastic bag...
Wanted to capture the bird in it and bring it else where...
But the bird jumpped as I approached it...
An so did the cat...
Damn...
Next happened all so fast...
The cat leaped onto the bird...
With the bird in its mouth...
It ran...
I waved the bag at it...
Freaked the cat out a bit...
It dropped the bird...
The bird hopped onto the grass patch over the railing...
I tried to shoo the cat away...
But failed...
Before I could like jump over the railing...
The cat pounced on the helpless bird...
Carrying it by its wing and ran off...
The cat stop not far from me...
It placed the bird down...
With its paws on the bird and mouth reaching for the wing...
It is as if the cat wanted to ripped off the wing...
Shit...
I ran up to it...
Onli to see the cat picking it up in the mouth again and ran into the field...
Onli the cries of the bird to be heard...
As I watched the cat disappeared into the field...
The cries stopped...
Then I juz stood there...
I realli duno what to do...
I knew whatever I could do next...
Most pro gona be too late...
I stood there...
For a while...
For that moment...
It din bothered me if ppl think that I was a crazy girl staring at empty field...
I juz stood there...
Then turned and walked away...
Then I looked back...
Nthg...
The air was moist...
And it was all suddenly peacefull...
No sound...
Nthg at all...
But...
I dun feel peace....
In fact...
Theres this huge thunderstorm stirring in me...
I blame myself...
For the bird's death...
If I was to picked it up the first time I saw it...
It wun have died...
It was juz a helpless bird...
Why din I help it...
Why did I let my self conscience over take the nid to help another being...
Why am I so selfish...
Why...
The bird din have to die...
It juz din have to...
It is me...
I caused its death...
The bird have to die bcoz of me...
I hate myself...
I juz hate you and your stupid self conscience...
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU